"Beardy pop knob Robbie Williams has a new hobby - camping. The ex-Take That star has spent a small fortune kitting himself out for trips into the wilderness - which seems appropriate as the paranoid lump is also in the pop wilderness." Smarto quotes a "source" as saying this al-fresco activity is down to William's prevailing interest in aliens, which he should have a better chance of seeing "away from LA's bright lights". Weirdly, Smarto thinks this is proof that Williams is a massive gaylord, the latest in a long line of crack-pop theories. "I always thought Robbie was camp as a row of tents - and this all sounds a bit Brokeback Mountain." Wow, you're right, clearly camping does have all the trademarks of homosexuality, and it's definitely Robbie Williams and not Smart Gordon who has a one-track mind when it comes to such matters.
In other outdoor-related news, glam-rockers Kiss stole the show at Download festival on the weekend and, in turn, Kim Dawson of Kim Dawson's Playlist stole a few moments with them. Bassist Gene Simmons was, it seems, in a typically belligerent mood, as Kim writes: "Kiss have blasted bands like Coldplay and Radiohead for giving away music for free." Yes, months and months after everybody else on the planet has come to terms with this extraordinary feat, Gene Simmons has finally let it get to him.
"The music industry is dead. It's six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. There's no record industry so we're going to wait until everybody settles downs and becomes civilised," said Simmons, although we'd be lying if we said we had the faintest clue what the old fool was banging on about. There's more, though. In the hope of resuscitating the music biz corpse, Simmons promises Kiss won't record any new material until the "industry pops its head up". Once Radiohead and Coldplay get to the bottom of what he's talking about, we're sure they'll feel suitably obliged to cease the giveaways so as not to deny the world any more Kiss classics.
Just in case you thought nothing interesting happened at the Mojo awards last night, think again. Feud time! "There was a distinct chill in the air between Duffy and Paul Weller at last night's Mojos," reports the Mirror's 3am team, fresh from the gossip frontline. "It was the first time the Welsh warbler had come face to face with the Modfather after snubbing his offer to make sweet music together."
Apparently this is not a euphemism for sex, Weller actually did want record a duet with her. And "record a duet" isn't a euphemism for sex either, we're strictly talking about music here. Anyway, with regards to sex or music, you "just don't say no to someone like Paul Weller too many times", claims a source, "or they'll never ask again." Given Duffy's stance on matters related to Weller, we imagine this is more of a promise than a threat.
See Also
